Girl's Night

Girl’s Night

• Flats- faster to run in
• Keep your cell phone on you and at high volume
• Keep 20$ on you- emergency money or if someone confronts you for money just give them 20
• Carry your person in front of you, holding the strap makes it harder for someone to grab it, wear it under your coat- if possible, do not fight over your purse or chase someone who took it- story/example
• Do not flash your money around
• Use common sense when dressing-jewelry, flashy, valuable items, on the streets use a scarf to conceal them
• Do not take shortcuts through dark deserted places, stay in well lit or crowded places story/example- see sally kick ass
• Bring a flashlight- can b used as a weapon
• Walk against traffic so you can see cars coming towards you and no one can pull up behind you, open a door and drag you in their car
• Walk wide around corners- allows you to see around the corner better
• Two is better than one, the more the merrier
• Common sense, trust your intuition, if a place gives off a bad vibe, don’t enter

Shopping Safety

Shopping

• Be aware of your surroundings. Look for suspicious persons, etc. when you are in any area.
• Remember where you parked your car. While this may sound elementary, many shopping areas are spread out over large areas. Being unable to locate a car can cause you undue confusion and stress that may present you as a better target to a criminal.
• If shopping late in the day or after dark, park in an area that is well lighted. Keep in mind, if you are shopping at a mall, the time the store closes from which you enter the mall, as some stores close earlier than others. This may keep you from having to walk unnecessary distances to your car if you find the store has closed earlier than you expected.
• Shop in pairs at the very least. Take a friend or family member shopping with you. There is something to be said for safety in numbers.
• As you return to your car, make sure to keep your car key in your hand.
• Avoid carrying large amounts of cash. Pay for purchases with checks, credit, charge or debit cards. Carry cash and wallets in a front pocket to reduce your chances of having your pocket picked.
• Don't leave car phones, purses, CD cases, or any other item of value in your parked car where they can be seen. Always conceal these items.
• Don't leave purchased merchandise in your parked car where it can be seen. Conceal these items also.
• Holiday shopping is notorious for higher levels of criminal activity
• Keep your purse on you, not in a shopping cart
• Be aware of what you, and your children are wearing- identification- colors –gangs
• Changing rooms and restrooms, keep valuables off the floor where people can grab them
• Don’t get distracted
• Don’t leave any place alone, walk with someone, even if you don’t know them
• Try to only have one arm full of bags, the other should be free for your keys or defense
• Get an escort form the store at night

Staying Safe at Home

Home

• Lock the doors, deadbolts
• Alarms
• Don’t tell anyone you are home alone
• Change locks
• Second floor apartments rather than first
• Keep ground floor windows locked
• Get to know your neighbors
• Ask who it is before opening the door to someone, never open the door to a stranger alone, unless they have proper identification- don’t allow any service personnel (telephone, repair services) in unless you specifically called them to come check something in your house out
• Make your home look occupied. TV, lights, radio, less chance of robbery
• Make sure exterior of house is well lit, and bushes are cut back so no one can hide in them
• Use motion detector lights by doors
• Lock all gates in fences
• Don’t have trellises or anything anyone can climb near any windows
• Keep ladders locked in garage
• Keep the garage door closed and the door to the house in the garage locked
• Have your house number visible so police or emergency personnel can find it quickly
• “safe haven room” in case someone breaks in, portable phone, cell phone service, weapon, locks, heavy door
• Fireproof safe, hidden
• Vary routine leaving and returning home
• Have a house sitter if u are involved in a funeral, wedding, etc.
• If you put an ad in the paper to sell someone have someone with you if someone comes to look at it or pick it up
• Do not go in to your house if it looks like someone tried to break in. go to a neighbors, call the police
• If you are at home and someone breaks in do not confront them unless you are physically threatened, call 911, make loud noises

Staying Safe at Hotels

Hotel

• Fire safety (ladders)
• Be observant, lock doors
• Don’t answer to anyone u don’t know or aren’t expecting
• Never tell strangers you’re alone
• Check doors, windows, sliders et.
• Know hotel address and room number
• Available working phone at all times
• Register with your first initial only
• 2-7th floors are best in case of fires, above the 4th floor is better for preventing intruders
• Room access from inside the building is safe than outside access
• Ask for an escort to your room
• Don not keep valuable in your room unless they are locked in a safe
• Make sure locks and chains on your doors work
• Make sure your windows are locked and closed correctly
• Conduct meetings in the lobby or a public area, not your room
• Have a flashlight- power outage
• Before you leave, take a matchbook or business card with the hotels number and address, You can give it to taxi drivers so they bring you to the right hotel. Large cities have hotels in the same chain
• Put a lamp or chair in front of your door or window or anything that makes a racket if knocked over during an attempt break in
• Use elevators whenever possible, stairs can be lonely and criminals linger there. Open stairs in plain view are fine. Avoid fire escapes or closed staircases.
• If there is a fire, you should only uses stairs, never elevators

Traveling Safely

Always:
Let someone know about your destination (who, what, when, where, why and how)
Keep your head up
Be aware of your surroundings

Public Transport:
• There is usually safety in numbers, wait in a public, populated area for the public transport to arrive
• Don't choose a window seat, you may get blocked in by a potential attacker, an aisle seat gives you a quick ext
• Hold onto your belongings in your lap
• Don't fall asleep
• Don't stand on isolated platforms
• Exit with a group, only if the exit looks safe
• Don't use a laptop or anything of value
• Always choose the train compartment carrying the most passengers or directly behind the driver
• On buses, sit behind the driver or next to the door for a quick exit

Driving- Cars and Parking Lots:
• Always approach your vehicle with the keys ready
• Always check your car before entering
• Never leave your car unlocked, even for the few minutes it may take you to return a video, buy milk and so forth. Attackers have been known to lie in wait for such an opportunity.
• Always drive to a well-lit and crowded area before exiting your car.
• Always be alert in parking lots, especially when it's dark. If you are afraid, don't be too shy to ask someone to escort you to your car. Between cars and inside cars, it's easy for someone to hide and wait until an unalert person comes along.
• Never pick up hitchhikers
• Lock the doors, put on your seat belt, leave
• Keep your car maintained-oils, gas, tires etc.
• Always keep your gas half full so you don’t run out on a rainy/bad night
• Drive defensively-no road rage
• When you have to stop, stop far back enough that you can see the rear tires of the car in front of you-prevent being blocked in and allows you to go around it if necessary
• If you are driving alone at night, wear a baseball hat or other hat, giving you a male appearance
• Don’t leave any valuables visible in the car
• Avoid stopping at highway rest stops at night that have very few people
• If you think you are being followed, turn 4 or 5 corners, if the car still follows, do not go home, go to the nearest police station or a well lit public place
• If you get a flat tire, drive slowly to the nearest gas station
• Keep a flashlight, pen and pad in your car
• Back into parking spots, leaving is quicker
• Use valet when you can, if none, park close to the entrance as possible, well lit, no near bushes
• On Star-help anytime in the car, LoJack-locates stolen cars, The Club-locks the steering wheel
• Never get out and leave the car running
• Never leave your children in the car
• If someone gets in your car, get out and run
• In parking lots walk though wide main aisles, not between parked cars
• If someone grabs you while you are getting in the car, throw the keys away so they can’t abduct you
• If someone comes towards the car to get you and the children,, lean over the front seat, get them and then get out, then throw the keys, if you get out and then try to get the children, the criminal might take the keys and get in it and drive off with the kids
• Don’t drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol etc

Techniques

Fight vs. Flight

Flight - If you think you can successfully escape, don't hesitate, run as fast as you can to the nearest place of safety
Fight-Use any physical means to survive, and get to a safe place


Remember:
• Show no fear, remain calm
• Strong, confident stance
• Remain objective, listen to what the person is saying
• Communicate calmly and clearly. don't antagonize an attacker
• Be assertive, but don't challenge the attacker
• Breathe
• Focus


Natural Weapons
• Forehead
• Back of the head
• Teeth
• Elbows
• Fingers
• Hips
• Knees
• Feet
• Hands
• Shoulders
• Back

Targets
• Temple
• Eyes
• Nose
• Ears
• Side of the neck
• Throat
• Solar plexus/stomach
• Arms
• Hands
• Fingers
• Ribs
• Groin
• Knees
• Feet


Using Your Environment
Wherever you are, everything has the potential to be a weapon

A life threatening situation is a matter of survival and the person being attacked should aim to win by any means possible

You have to do everything you can: Kick, scream, scratch, hit, attack with a common object, anything to end the threat or gain enough time to escape.


Objects you can use: Anything that surrounds you. Indoors: ashtrays, chairs, bottles, knives, pencil, knitting needles, kitchen utensils, belts, etc. Outdoors: sand, stones, sticks, etc. Use any object you can throw that will help you stop your attacker

Sprays: Any aerosol can, hairspray, spray paint, pepper, tear gas, etc.

Most women carry a bag or purse, they can be used as weapons, as well as the items inside. Lipstick/lipstick cases, hairbrushes, perfume, etc. are potential, and legal, weapons that can be used against an attacker.

Domestic Violence Is Not a Family Matter-It's a Crime

What To Do

• Contact a domestic violence center
• Tell trusted friends and family
• Document dates and times of abuse- evidence-pictures
• Talk to a legal adviser about your options
• Do not use your computer to communicate your concerns. Hackers
• Talk to your children. Keep them safe and out of any arguments
• Identify trigger points, go to a neighbors or a safe place if you see the coming
• Use self defense
• Tell the police
• Find ways to save cash if you have to leave. Keep it with a trusted friend or family member
• Make copies of important documents in case u need to leave-deeds, insurance, social security, drives license, credit cards, w2’s, tax records, passports, medical cards, prescriptions bank accounts, etc.
• Make a spare key for house, car , etc. in case your spouse takes yours
• Give any sentimental items to a trusted friend or family member to hold for you
• Consider getting a protective order-gives you a legal basis to ask police and other s to take action. Be prepared for it to be violated
• Notify your family, friends, neighbors and employer that you have left the relationship
• Notify the children’s school and use the protective order to insure that school understands that your spouse is not authorized to pick up your children without your approval
• If he leaves, change the locks, and any passwords- (answering machines, email etc). meet him in public, well lit and populated places to talk
• If you leave, you can leave a false trail about where you are going
• If you leave, only tell very trusted individuals where you are

Stalking

“Every step you take-every move you make-I’ll be watching you” Sting, the lyrics of “Every Breath You Take”

• Partner-exes that don’t want to give up that relationship and believe that if they persist long enough, they can get it back
• Delusional- this person fantasizes that the person will be or is interested in them. They may believe that they have a relationship with that person even when they may have never met them. Movie stars are good examples of the targets of this type of stalker, but they may also be a good teacher, doctor, minister, married woman or other person.
• Angry- Some issues has upset the stalker that he is seeking to intimidate or harm the person he believes influenced or controls that issue. Politicians are frequent victims of this type of stalker.

• John Lennon was stalked and killed by Mark David Chapman in 1980
• 1 million women are stalked annually
• Average stalking lasts 1.8 years
• 78% of all stalking victims are women
• 77% of those women know their stalkers
• 43% report the stalking started after a relationship ended
• 48% of the stalkers were spouses, ex-spouses or intimate partners and 81%of these stalkers physically assaulted their victims

What to do

• Talk with the police and local prosecutor
• Contact an anti-stalking organization or other women’s help group for support and assistance
• Document all instances of harassment- evidence-emails, letters, injuries, damage, photos with dates on them
• Change all your locks immediately
• Change email, answering machine passwords- prevents them from accessing your messages
• Lock your mailbox or rent a post office box
• Get a new unlisted telephone number and only give it to close family and friends. Keep the old number active with an answering machine so the stalker can call that number. If you terminate the old number, the stalker will try to find your new number or harass you some other way
• Tell your friends and family what’s going on
• Vary time and routes if you think you are being followed go to the police station
• Keep your car locked at all times
• Tell your employer about what is going on. Arrange to have your coworkers screen your calls and any visitors. Have your name removed from your parking lot
• Have your name blocked on the internet and other places people can get your personal info
• Consider getting a dog
• Consider a restraining order. Police can take action if it is violated, be prepared for it to be violated, statistics indicate it will be violated 69% of the time.
• Consider moving
• Take a women’s self defense class
• Have the police talk with the stalker

3 ways most stalking cease: victims move, police talk with the stalker, the stalker finds a new love interest

College women stalked

• 13% of college women are stalked
• Average length is 2 months
• 15% were threatened or some attempt was made to harm them
• 17% of the time the stalking was reported to the police
• 93% told some one, usually a friend, that they were being stalked
• 66% were boyfriends, ex-boyfriends or classmates

Dating and Date Rape Drugs

Dating

• Get info on anyone interested in dating you-reputation, what type of person is he, does he drink too much, talk negatively about women, show bullying or domineering tendencies, other problems, etc
• First date, in private, drive your own car and meet him there, consider a double date, lots of people=-safety
• Introduce your date to your parents, friends, roommate, tell them where, and where you are going
• Wear appropriate clothes for how you want the date/situation to go
• Communicate clearly and often about expectations
• Paying your own way prevents him for expecting something in return
• Listen to him carefully-attitude and opinions on important matters
• Trust your instincts, if it becomes uncomfortable, ask to leave or call a taxi or a friend
• Always take your phone with you
• Don’t let yourself be isolated with him
• If he drinks too much or does drugs, don’t get in a car with him, or go to his home with him
• If you drink, drink in moderation, make it last, eat , being drunk puts you in a very bad situation
• What you say must be consistent with your body language -mixed messages
• Don’t let him your house if you don’t feel comfortable or want him in your house

Date Rape Drugs
Rohypnol –referred to as Mexican Valium, Roofies, Rope, R-2, Rib, Roaches, and RZ. Normally an oblong green tablet that can be crushed and put in a drink, causing drowsiness, dizziness, confusion, los of inhibitions and amnesia. The manufactures no outs a dye in the drug which will show up if mixed in a drink, but generic version may not have dye
GHB- gamma hydroxyl butyrate- referred to as Liquid Ecstasy, Liquid X, Easy Lay, Soap, Goop or Georgia Home Boy. It can be liquid or white powder the mixes easily with drinks and quickly causes dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, unconsciousness, seizures, lowered heart rate, and respiratory failure. Renders the person incapable of resisting, and causes memory problems. Overdoes require immediate medical intervention. The DEA estimates there were 71 deaths due to GHB by Nov. 2000
Ketamine- referred to as Special K, Super K, Green, Cat Valium, Jet and Super Acid. It can be a clear liquid or white to off white powder causing mental confusion and loss of coordination. There can be other serious reactions since it is related to PCP.


Prevention

• Drink Safe Technology founded by Dr. Brian Glover has created a date-rape drug test kit. A coaster shaped test pad changes color to tell if your drink has been contaminated
• According to Francisco Guerra of Drink Safe Technology, 60% of convicted date rapist who used GHB on their victims were bartenders
• 1996 congress passed the Drug Induced Rape Prevention & Punishment Act
• It is a federal offense to commit a crime of violence including rape by administering controlled substances without the victim’s consent or knowledge. The date rape drugs mentioned above are covered by this law. Federal penalties include up to 20 years of imprisonment
• Don’t ever leave your drink unattended
• Never take a drink from a stranger
• Never drink out of a punch bowl
• If it tastes funny get rid of it
• Only drink from a bottle or can that has not been opened
• If you think your drink has been spiked, seek help immediately, medical tests
• Make a pact with friends, to go together and leave together and stay together
• Don’t drink and become isolated

Sexual Assault Statistics

• Each year 1 million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate partner.
• 4 million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during an average 12-month period.
• Nearly 1 in 3 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood.
• 2005 two thirds of rapes and sexual assaults took place between 6:ppm and 6:00am
• FBI 2004 Crime in the United States report showed the highest percentage of rapes occurred in March, April, May, June, July, august , and October
• 1 in 12 women will be stalked during her lifetime, of those. 77% know their stalkers
• FBI reports a forcible rape in this country every 5 minutes, 1 in every 6 American women have already been a victim of rape or attempted rape
• Survey showed that 54% of rape and attempted rape victims are under 18 and almost 22% are under the age of 12
• A woman is raped every 46 seconds in America... that's 78 rapes each hour!
• Every day, four women are killed by their abusive partners
• 25% of girls and 17% of boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18 years old
• 14% of all American women acknowledge having been violently abused by a husband or boyfriend
• From 1992 to 1993 29% of all violence against women by a lone offender was by an Intimate
• 75% of domestic homicides occur after the victim has left the perpetrator
• 28% of all homicides of women are domestic violence related
• 95% of reported domestic assaults the female is the victim and the male is the perpetrator
• 75% of every rape is committed by a man that the victim knows
• 25% of rapes take place in a public area or a parking garage

Men Vs. Women

Men:

• Know how to fight
• Are strong and can easily inflict pain
• Are still getting away with murder
  

Women:

• Often rely on false security measures
• underestimate their power
• Exhibit what they are taught:feminine characteristics and qualities
• Are not usually trained or experienced physical fighters
• Lack muscle compared to the brawn of men
• Tend to be thorough thinkers and emotionally caring and nurturing
• Watch and wait in situations of danger, and then it's too late
• Believe they do not have the time in their busy schedules to understand and adapt an effective defense plan
• Haven't made the necessary lifesaving decisions

When Men Fight Women

• It's serious
  
• He has a goal
• She just ran out of time

When Men Attack Women

• They sneak up on women
• They cozy up to women
  
• They ambush women
• Combination of all three

The Basic Rules

Violence can happen at any time and anywhere, at home, work, the grocery store, in schools, or on a shopping trip. No one is truly and completely safe all the time.


4 Basic A’s

Attitude-the mindset you have and the image you project
• Project confidence in any situation- even if you don’t have any at that moment
• Keep your head up, walk with determination and a positive attitude
• Always be alert
• Always be ready, do not get distracted
• You can reduce your risks by making simple changes to your lifestyle
• Present a strong overall image

Awareness- seeing what is going on around you
• Intuition- Follow your gut, if something doesn't seem right don't allow yourself to get stuck in a bad situation
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein
• Sometimes it’s okay to judge a book by its cover
• Look people in the eyes, they are the window to their soul
• Be wary of people who invade your space and/or make you feel uncomfortable
• Use your memory, if something seems out of place or not where it should be something
• Don’t get too distracted easily
• Use your senses-five senses (feel, touch, hear, see, smell), common sense
“Common Sense is not so common.” Voltaire

Avoidance- simple everyday actions to reduce risk
• Prevention- don’t let yourself get dangerous situations
• Take any precautions possible
• Use good judgment

Action– direct steps to take when confronted
• Verbal self defense- try to calmly reason with your attacker/s
• Decide if it’s fight or flight
• Use your natural weapons- your body
• Never go force against force. Try to get out of the direct line of contact
• Work against the attacker’s thumb to escape grasps
• Use multiple kicks and strikes until the attacker quits
• Yell loudly, it focuses your power and distracts the attacker
• Practice simple self defense tricks-kick, palm heel, wrist release
• Stay on your feet as long as possible


Simple Terms To Keep In Mind
Confidence- Body language, stand straight, shoulders back, chin up
Perseverance-Never quit, set goals, work to reach them
Assertive-Use your voice, stand your ground, express your feelings
“Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t be mean when you say it”
Balance-Stable mental or psychological state, emotional stability
Quick exercise: sit up straight, close your eyes, take a deep inner breath. Visualize your anxiety and stress fading away and think calm happy thoughts
Strength-Physical, mental, emotional strength
Courageous- Stick to your words and beliefs
“It’s important that people should know what you stand for. It’s equally important that they know what you won’t stand for.” Mary H. Waldrip
Power-Mind and body

SING

Miss Congeniality

Solar plexus/Stomach
In step
Nose
Groin